1. Someone Is “Rigid”
“These tend to be the worst divorces because the rigid partner does not tend to change,” Chloe Wolman, a divorce attorney in Los Angeles tells Romper. “The rigid partner will often continue to insist that things go their way even after the divorce papers are filed.”
Wolman says the interesting part is that she often sees rigid partners paired up with compromising partners, so it seems like the relationship is well balanced.
“She wants things a certain way, and he’s willing to accommodate those wants. Easy, right? No quite,” Wolman says. “Even the most easy going partner will eventually break down.”
Wolman explains that one partner may require their spouse to act a certain way, buy certain things, and adhere to certain “rules.” She says this rigidity comes down to control and refusal to accept dissent, which in her opinion is the number one predictor of divorce.
2. Soemone Doesn’t Prioritize The Marriage
“If your spouse doesn’t make you a priority and if you fail to feel special, you will lose interest in the relationship,” Regina DeMeo, a divorce attorney in District of Columbia says. “The commitment simply falls apart.”She adds that a person who makes work, friends, and extended family a priority is basically taking their spouse for granted.
Matchmaker and founder of Hunting Maven , Julia Bekker agrees that not making time for each other can be a serious problem for couples.
“When work and everything else becomes more of a priority than your relationship or significant other, you are doomed,” Bekker says. “Don’t expect a person to just always be there. If you neglect your partner long enough it will take a toll on them emotionally and it is hard to come back from that.”
3. Someone Is Indifferent Towards The Marriage
This is one my own mother has preached to me through the years. She always told me if you’re not happy, sad, or even angry, you know you’re numb and ultimately it’s probably over.
Date to Soulmate founder and psychologist, Michael Arn, backs up what my mom’s wisdom. He tells Romper you know your relationship is in trouble if you don’t feel anything towards you partner. Arn continued with the hard truth about indifference, saying that it shows “you are no longer fighting for your relationship.”
4. You Have A “No Conflict” Marriage
The idea that couples who don’t fight have “perfect” marriages has circled in our society for a long time. But couples therapist, Marni Feuerman says all relationships have conflict and disagreements to some degree, and if they don’t then they are lying or exhibiting some definite avoidance behavior.
“Couples who routinely avoid conflict slowly drift apart,” Feuerman says. “It’s like the music of the relationship is playing but neither is getting on the dance floor.” She says these types of couples eventually just become roommates and the marriage (and love) dies.